so. something i've done a lot of thinking, praying, and talking-with-laura about lately is trust. trusting in the Lord, more specifically. it's so easy for me to want the big picture, the whole story. i'd love to know where i'm going to be in ten years, who i'm going to be with, the career i will have started by then, the people in my life now who are still a part of my life then. i would love to know if what i'm doing, where i'm going is the right thing - if my trajectory [concept from last week with Richard Dahlstrom] is in line with God's will. if my friendships and relationships are even worth my time today, because they may mean nothing in ten years. if my thoughts and plans are even worth any effort... because God's plan will prevail and it may have nothing to do with what i think is best for my life. if i could just know for sure who my husband is, i could start preparing today for whatever may need to happen between now and marriage. if i could just know for sure what God wants me to do full-time with my life and education, i could better focus my academics and be proactive in the right areas. if only i were God. that's basically what i'm saying.
the second we know what He knows, we become completely independent. we won't need Him, or anything having to do with Him - relationship, dependence, trust, faith, hope, etc.
this.. is the greatest challenge of the Christian life - living completely by faith, trusting that His plan is the best plan, and it will be revealed to me in the most perfect timing possible for my life.
i fly home in 7 days.
SO. MUCH. TO. DO. STILL.
gahhhh.. prayer is appreciated! :) i'll write more later.
