not quite ready (part two)

And this is where we see God’s amazing plan start to unfold in my life. As Peter Reid was giving his end-of-the year announcements today on how to continue our spiritual momentum and live out our faith at home, I found myself picturing life back home. I imagined returning to it in the state that I’m in, as though I were flying home this Saturday, April 2. I began to panic. I’ve learned tons, yes. But God’s timing, as He revealed it to me, kept me asleep until March. It didn’t click until the last three weeks of school and by then, sadly, the majority of focus and intellectual absorption was out the window. Six months is a long time for 100 students to sit still, and by the time I experienced my spiritual awakening, the atmosphere wasn’t the same. But God’s not done with me here, and I feel great and powerful things on the horizon.

Although my relationship with Joel has experienced changes and growth in the Lord, my personal relationship with Christ is still starving and relatively undeveloped. If I were to go back to the people, places, and habits of Issaquah or Pullman in this state of spirituality, I would… well, I would fail. And it’s simply because the sponge of my heart has been soaked only in certain areas. I can confidently leave Joel in the hands of the Lord, now. I can leave my future, my worries, concerns, family and friends all in the hands of the Lord. I finally feel ready, after the foundation and revivals I have now experienced, to begin my pursuit of happiness (as the books say) with an open heart and clear mind.

And, to no surprise at all, God knew this already. In fact, He knew this when He placed the desire on my heart almost two years ago to send in an application for Spring term at Capernwray Hall in England. As my fleshly desires changed and my mind became distracted over the course of the following months and years, I reached September 2010 with zero desire to be gone any longer than I had to be. After all, I had a great guy at home now, and a great job with money waiting to be earned. Last September I had no idea that I would be typing what I’m typing today. If you told me 6 months ago that I’d be aching for more time abroad, that 6 months of Bible School was good for certain things, but actually just the beginning, I would have rolled my eyes and called you crazy. And now, I say it with full certainty: I need more time with Christ. Alone. Out here, on my own, in the Word, in lectures, in a new environment, new country, around new people, with a new heart. And God had that in the books this entire time. Good grief, He’s cool ;)

When my old room started to get together again this term and continue on in Captivating, the Lord started to show me things I never expected to learn. Chapter seven is titled “Romanced” and really paints a picture of Christ wanting to be the one who dates us, marries us, and completely romances us. In a way we’ve never experienced before. He wants us to be head over heals in love with Him, because that’s how He feels about us. He wants to be our knight in shining armor, our prince, our rescuer. And boy did that change everything for me. I’m learning what it means to have a personal Savior be the same as my Heavenly Father, Awesome Creator, and Great Romancer all at the same time. I love the challenge, and I fully expect to develop a new love and infatuation for Him now that He’s given me this perspective.

Saturday I leave for a week in Greece, then a week in Italy, then I have an overnight journey by train up to England. I will check in to the castle (that’s right, our school is a castle) on April 16th. In the next two weeks I fully intend to explore the world and the Word with the friends I’ve made here, giving God all the glory for the things we learn and experience. I want to start a prayer journal. I want to read daily. I want to continue my quiet times. I want to be faithful about the things of my heart, and not allow it to be a dream anymore. These are the things on my heart, coming straight from the Lord, no doubt. I love Him and this new heart attitude He has graciously given me. It has been a fabulous six months here at the Bode, and I will never forget the awesome experiences my Father has given me here. From sunsets on the bodensee to mountain top-views in Switzerland, from endless laughter with roommates to endless discussions about life, from hours spent on Skype to hours spent listening to God’s Word, God has given me so much in my time here.

Our year verse, hopefully one I carry in my heart always: 1 Peter 1:3 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”

I will post again soon to record the works of the Lord in my life. Prayers for the safety of my friends and me as we travel, and for the expected growth in my near future would be extremely appreciated ☺